Day two. I feel bad because Vergil doesn’t think I’m excited or happy about this. I am, I just don’t feel it yet. All I feel is strangeness; like this is something happening to me and not something I’m a part of yet. I guess it’s because he wanted this so bad and I’m still working my way there.
Part of me wants to tell more people, just to make it more real to me, but I know that’s not wise. I haven’t even seen or talked to my doctor yet and so much can happen in three months.
Maybe it’s the hormones that have taken over, but I am having a really hard time getting into this. I feel so detached and I feel really bad about that. I keep waiting for something akin to excitement to hit me and it just won’t. I really hope I don’t spend my entire pregnancy like this. Then again, I remember feeling detached about my wedding too, but I had a great time on the actual day and I’m loving my marriage, so yeah… Maybe it’ll be the same with this.
Anyway, that’s really all for today. Nothing new or exciting to report. My baby’s not even the size of a raspberry yet. Weird. It’s all just weird.
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