somethin' about the way

Don't ask what my title means, it just popped into my head and therefore onto this blog.

Before I go any further, I would like to apologize to my male friends who read my blog. I hadn't realized that I associated something 'negative' like my menstrual cycle with a male prefix and that this is a fairly common thing for women to do. I think it's because as natural and feminine a thing as it is to have happen, it is often uncomfortable and unpleasant and feels as though it should be 'other' than what I am. What is more 'other' than a male? Anyway, that's my pathetic excuse for my insensitivity. Perhaps from now on I shall refer to it as my good friend, 'Period Dog'. LOL

Okay, that was random.

On another...note, I guess - was I on a previous note or just a tangent? Anyway, it doesn't matter. What I would like to say is that I have rejoined Curves. I had joined just before I got married so that I'd look good for my wedding (and fit into my dress properly), and then my routines changed and it just wasn't a priority anymore so I quit going. All that to say that recently I've been feeling...rotund and mannish. I don't like to say 'fat' because of the violent reactions that word usually invokes, so I've come up with a more creative way to describe how I feel: Rotund and mannish. Anyway, because I've been feeling that way, I told my friend Sheri that she needed to join Curves with me. That way, I'd have someone to go with and I would feel more motivated. She agreed and we started this week. At first I was a little reluctant to join, because 'what if' I get pregnant in the near future? But then I thought - why am I putting my life on hold for something I have little to no control over in the end? 'What ifs' don't exist so there's no point in living as though they do. And then, because I firmly believe God's got a fantastic sense of humor, when I went to workout on Tuesday, I noticed a woman there who looked about 8 months pregnant and I thought to myself, yeah, okay, God. I get it. Being pregnant does not preclude exercise. Ha ha. You're funny.

It does feel good to be back at it again. I was a little distressed to learn that I had gained 15 pounds since I was last at Curves. Oh well. Now I've got something to work towards. It's nice to have a goal for myself that doesn't involve wanting a child so badly. Gives me something to focus on and push myself towards - and improves my health and well being at the same time! How sweet is that?

And that's just about all that's new with me. I'm going to go...do something else now. Good weekend, all.

impatient

So, no luck this month. My good friend, Mr. Period, came to visit today. Sigh. I'm a little frustrated - more with myself than anything else, really. I am NOT a process person. Not that I'm not enjoying the process of...well, you get the idea, I just kind of want to get this over with already. I want to know if I am going to or if I am even able to have children. I can't know that without looking into the future, of course, and that makes me impatient.

Anyway, I'm gonna take some more drugs for the pain and move on to a happier topic.

I am having a lingerie shower for my friend Sheri tonight. It should be a lot of fun. There are going to be a lot of fun people there. It also helps that she's such an energetic, out-going, bubbly, not-shy person.

Vergil was upset that he didn't get to see me this evening, but then he remembered that he gets to play with Kirk's Wii tonight at youth. (Don't get me started on the string of bad jokes we came up with about that on our TYN leader's retreat a few weekends ago! Too much fun.)

And that's about all I have to say for today. I'm glad it's the weekend, that's for sure.

waiting...

I hear waiting is supposed to build character. Why does it never feel like it when you're doing it? Bleh. I dislike how approximately two weeks after I finish my period, all I can think about is whether or not I'm pregnant. The question just sits there in the back of my head and the more I try to ignore it, the more difficult it is to ignore.

Bleh.