the other side of me

I feel incredibly self conscious today. Not about how I look, but about my writing, believe it or not. I'm in the midst of trying to write about 4 articles for our school's alumni publication, I'm trying to write a story and now I'm writing for my blog and I feel like I can't make my words say what they're supposed to say. It's a weird sensation.

I think maybe it started this weekend already. I keep going through the sessions I led at the youth retreat in my mind thinking, I just don't have it any more. I'm not creative or insightful the way I used to be. I'm not as 'in tune' with God and with youth as I used to be. I'm just a dried-up, know-nothing, uninspired blob of wannabe star-youth-person. I dunno. I feel a little... adrift.

I don't feel right today. Physically and mentally. Actually, I haven't felt right all week. I think maybe one of the youth got me sick this weekend. Maybe. Maybe I just have so much work to do that the stress is slowly shutting me down.

Fortunately, Vergil and I are going to my uncle's cabin this weekend. That'll be a nice little rest for us.

Unfortunately, next weekend is d-day. March 10th was supposed to be my due date. It's not going to be a very good weekend for me. Maybe that's why I feel off. I'm already anticipating next weekend. Anyway, please excuse me in advance if I'm not very personable or with it next week. It's going to be a little surreal and depressing.

Well, that's about all I have to say. Not that I really said anything at all...

Wow. This is gonna be a hard funk to shake.