3 to 4...YEARS!

Okay, so first a 'small world' mention. Last night in our prenatal class I met Alisha who happens to be related to half the people in my church and confessed to being a 'lurker' on my blog. Hi Alisha! You can comment away now because we know each other! :D Good times. Small world. It's a good thing Vergil has a unique name or she might never have put two and two together. Thank goodness for nametags!

Anyway, on to the heart of the matter. But first a warning - if you're at all squeamish and don't like discussions of anything even remotely medical, turn back now!

We had an information-packed prenatal class last night that included an overview of what to expect in the first stage of labour (early labour and transition), what felt like a fairly detailed and at the same time brief explanation of the second stage of labour (pushing and birth), a brief mention of the third stage of labour (delivery of the placenta), an overview of C-sections and why they might be needed and finally, some of the common unprettiness of newborns that we can expect. Oh, and a really fast diapering demonstration (I hope you've got Frank practicing already, Alisha!).

Here was what set Vergil off for the entire evening - as we were looking at all of the common appearances of newborns, including molding (cone-headedness), lanugo (soft, downy hair all over the body), vernix (a 'cheese-like' gooey substance covering the body (it protects baby's skin from being submerged in liquid for so long)), crossed-eyes (babies can't focus right away, so they cross their eyes with the effort), stork bites (red spots on the face or neck), puffy face, enlarged genitals, blue hands and feet - we came across this little beauty: Mongolian spots. Basically they're giant birthmarks that look like a big bruise on baby's bottom. Here's a picture so you know what I'm talking about:

So anyway, the nurse is explaining that these spots are usually more common in mixed-race babies, like if the one partner is Caucasian and the other is Chinese or Filipino. Immediately Verge and I perk up, of course. Then she goes on to explain how long most of these things last - anywhere from a day to a week or two. But when she gets to the Mongolian spots, she says, "This will usually last no more than three to four...years."

Vergil's indignation was palpable, of course. "WHAT?" he says to me. "Three to four YEARS?! That doesn't seem fair! I mean, how come cone-head and cross-eyes get a free pass, but black bum's gotta suffer for three to four years??"

Oh how I laughed. And laughed. And laughed. If you know Vergil at all, you'll know what's he's like when he's on this kind of rampage. You'd know that this kind of material would be too good for him to pass up. He was going on about how our child wouldn't be allowed to run around naked until he was five because of his black bum and how the first thing he was gonna do after the baby is born is examine its butt.

So yeah. If after our child is born you start hearing us refer to him as 'black bum', you'll know why.

Oh baby black bum.

No, wait - he'll just be a slightly bruised banana!

Oh, that's just a bad joke. I better quit while I'm ahead...